In my minds eye, the artistry I create is an experience like no other. They are a release, a coping skill, that enables me to contend with the world around me, and all of it's incompetence and failures. But foremost, they are a reminder of how beautiful life is, and how it should not be taken for granted. I admit that a taste of chaos lingers in the air and often the image is some what morose with a very straight forward title, not cutting any corners. However, that is because I believe the most beautiful emotions are the ones bottled up. My main influences come from the pivotal moments out of the few years I have been alive, including the admitting of myself into a mental institution, the death of my father and the actual realization of human weakness. I have a strong tendency to pick out flaws and upon the beginning of my release through painting, my flaws became apparent. I express my opinions of these flaws through my technique. The techniques and tools I use represent how I feel about myself, at times. In many paintings, dirt and oil may be apparent. These represent the amount of filth I feel towards my mistakes. I use a chisel instead of a paint brush because it is heavy and sharp, like the pain from the weight I feel on my shoulders. Most importantly are the feelings of desperation and anger, two huge parts of my life. Represented in any painting with torn edges, and uneven stretching with staples out of alignment, these “disasterpieces,” as I have come to call them, are very dear and very often I do not like them, but at the same time cherish them. They are a rarity and often contain emotion I think I may never feel again.
I do not like to label my art because that is like saying that this is the only type of art I create. I am also a musician, poet and short story writer in my free time. I have found, though, that painting gives me a sense of accomplishment unlike the feeling of being on stage. Painting gives me a feeling of consistency like no other. And for that reason, I choose to strongly represent myself throughout my paintings, rather than music and words which mostly are representations of my thoughts and feelings in an abstract form.
My art should be what you want it to be, no matter what the title says it is. I only title them so I can remember the thoughts I was thinking of when I created them. And, to me, this is the beauty of abstract art. Take the title away and you have something your mind now controls.
For those who don’t keep up to date with me that are reading this; assholes.
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