For those who don’t know….I have taken an interest in producing with the likes of Reason 5, and with the help of Producers Tictax and Era Redux, I have learned a very good amount in the little time I’ve been screwing around.
With that said, I will be starting a series of mixtapes to put out while waiting on completion of the next LP, all featuring multiple artists on top of self produced mixes.
AND with THAT said….here is the first track of my own;
“Hypochondriac”
Mouse trap in mouth with a tongue inside dying
I look like I’m giving up, still I keep trying
Lying for hours wide eyed and curious
as to what might be wrong
My problems are serious
hypochondriac speaking in riddles
my sadness comes in levels greater than fiddles
of the saddest size in nature
Rivers are cried
emotions so little
libido dry
suicide
in sexual danger
anxiety high and mighty inside me
I’m fighting get back to writing
and riding through biting teeth and nails on my back now
Gotta back down, fix the head in me
Gotta get ahead and in an empty seat
of a movie theatre
watching a movie alone, with no phone
no connection, no home
just me, the art and a silent state of depression
You think you can fix me?
I don’t find you impressive.
I don’t think you were meant for me
But I think too much
I think too much about problems so small
stressed the fuck out, ignoring friends calls
I’m trying; that’s what I can say
I’m sorry I don’t want to fuck today
In a happy place with four wall , some keys and a beer
Look at me; my skin is so clear
transparent in pose; exposé near
finished completion of deletion of files
therapists calling
and I’m walking a few miles
away from everything I’ve known to a shack in the woods
Maybe I should try to do me some good
hit the books
Maybe I should try to go to school again
And meet new people
Why? To drop out in boredom
with a bill I might pay never equal
to what I might pay in my life’s expense
I don’t think I’ll live that long
my friends
I’ve got a few problems in the head I’m blessed with
One of them leads to another thus why I’m disconnected
VOICES
I guess I have some problems that lay deep inside of me
I have my fathers blood and mother’s anxiety
It feels like sometimes I really am dying
The way my body likes to give up on me
keeps me from trying
I’m sick of the excuses, there’s none to be said
I’m not happy and sometimes I do wish I was dead
But that’s a thought
’cause life’s a bitch mocking me
If I were normal
I’d have bitch always on top of me
But I’m not, and nor am I different from any of you
I’m just a man proud of existing
with what I do
to be here is a miracle and I realize this
I just wish some of you people out there did
I have one goal and a dream to spread with my love
Make it to the top so I can spill my guts
to let everyone of you people taste my emotion
every ounce of me is with this; that is devotion
But there in lies the problem once again
Not caring for myself is more than a trend
it’s a habit
And I’m addicted to comfort
I’m not normal ’cause I won’t fuck ’till I really love her
I won’t fight without a shove first, don’t mind last place
Sometimes I’m a mess and get too shitfaced
Out for night
Wake on the ground
If I am always lost
when will I be found?
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