This is the best I have felt in years.

My god, the mood I am in is beautiful and the way leaves seem to still be falling around my figure only helps to push my thirst for success. If only I could feel this way all the time.

I now realize, though still flooded with thoughts of failures, I was never really part of anything disgusting. The beauty of this life I am living is I am the only one around, or so it seems, that truly loves of second of it. No matter what, I am sticking to my words of “never again” and that only helps to make my smile widen. As I sit here, alone at this empty table once more, I feel such a feeling of independence and warmth that no girl could ever match. Narcissism? No. Believability, my friends. Once you truly believe in something as important to you as yourself you have no need for anything else but to prove your existence. I am in love…. Infatuated with the thought of all my dreams coming true and none of them have anything to do with you. And to the others, I am not here for the sex (though it is nice) but rather to make a subtle impact amongst your life. I am here for the connection. Those who follow me and my words, and truly believe in them, it is time for you to stop and think; “Why am I not this happy?” And this is because you have been living life blind to the amazing world around you. Wake up. Take the mask off and show yourself. Now begins your time to truly start to find yourself.

I believe this is the last message to the girl who now is just an afterthought so I’ll make it clear; Thank you for all the time we shared and not a moment of it wasn’t worth it. But the truth is you were just a phase to me that I needed to go through and I can safely say I have no hopes of reconnecting, not that I do not miss anything. I miss a lot, but that is only because I have been so used to certain things. My mind is where it needs to be and your window of opportunity has finally passed. There will be those moments when I will feel like we should be what we dreamed of, but they will quickly be laid to rest due to my realization that I have no time for childish games and it is just my mind getting the best of me. I have too much to do and you have not the heart to tackle the plans I am pursuing, nor the patience. You feisty,little thing, you. I wish the best of luck with all that you do and may you live a life worth speaking of. And to your family; I envy you. If there is one thing I envy, it is your undying love for each other. Continue to maintain this through your generation, Jordan, and to some that is all they need. Again, thanks and goodbye.

With that being said, let us document this day as the day I can say I am completely on a mission and living for myself until I reach that point of captivation among the masses. I expect incredible experiences along the way and look forward to the new people I meet. Anyone that wants to join me, I’ll see you out there.

-M. Detelj

Statement

In my minds eye, the artistry I create is an experience like no other. They are a release, a coping skill, that enables me to contend with the world around me, and all of it's incompetence and failures. But foremost, they are a reminder of how beautiful life is, and how it should not be taken for granted. I admit that a taste of chaos lingers in the air and often the image is some what morose with a very straight forward title, not cutting any corners. However, that is because I believe the most beautiful emotions are the ones bottled up. My main influences come from the pivotal moments out of the few years I have been alive, including the admitting of myself into a mental institution, the death of my father and the actual realization of human weakness. I have a strong tendency to pick out flaws and upon the beginning of my release through painting, my flaws became apparent. I express my opinions of these flaws through my technique. The techniques and tools I use represent how I feel about myself, at times. In many paintings, dirt and oil may be apparent. These represent the amount of filth I feel towards my mistakes. I use a chisel instead of a paint brush because it is heavy and sharp, like the pain from the weight I feel on my shoulders. Most importantly are the feelings of desperation and anger, two huge parts of my life. Represented in any painting with torn edges, and uneven stretching with staples out of alignment, these “disasterpieces,” as I have come to call them, are very dear and very often I do not like them, but at the same time cherish them. They are a rarity and often contain emotion I think I may never feel again. I do not like to label my art because that is like saying that this is the only type of art I create. I am also a musician, poet and short story writer in my free time. I have found, though, that painting gives me a sense of accomplishment unlike the feeling of being on stage. Painting gives me a feeling of consistency like no other. And for that reason, I choose to strongly represent myself throughout my paintings, rather than music and words which mostly are representations of my thoughts and feelings in an abstract form. My art should be what you want it to be, no matter what the title says it is. I only title them so I can remember the thoughts I was thinking of when I created them. And, to me, this is the beauty of abstract art. Take the title away and you have something your mind now controls.

	This_fragilecliche on Poem/story- “Acts of lov…
	goldfish in a bowl on To the Abuser
	Dan on About
	Peter Smolenski on Thank You
	BMW on I’ve found it in the arc…

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This is the best I have felt in years.

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